and Flashy McFlats has made the major move back to her heartland…The Thrill. Needless to say that the reality tv has increased exponentially.
Top Ten Things to NEVER Say to Someone…
Note: people always say random stuff to me…I am hoping they never actually mean to be as offensive as they actually are. I just have to be positive, because otherwise I would hide in my house under newspapers eating Skinny Cow ice cream…all. the. time. Recent example: a couple of weeks ago a guy I met told me I remind him on Christopher Reeves. I love Superman all the way and think everything about his life was amazing. Taking this comment with a best case scenario here, I hope I do not look like CR will massive shoulders and a tiny waist in a skin tight blue spandex costume…because if so, I need to start my career as a linebacker.
1.) “Sorry I didn’t recognize you- you were SO much smaller last time we saw each other!”
Context: Running into a girl I knew in high school while getting a coffee. By smaller, she actually meant thinner I haven’t changed since I turned 14. Except for those annoying 15 lbs in college.
…..obviously I am heading out for a run in a million degree weather.
Only two days away from the 4th of July weekend! The 4th of July holiday may be one of my favorites, if not my favorite. The entire holiday brings back fond memories of fireworks, fireflies, swimming pools, and bbq. It is also a great time to reflect on how blessed we are and what a great country we live in. So my friends, reflect and be grateful, but becareful with the sparkers.
Does your dog sit like a person and watch world cup soccer? Mine does. She had her money on France, so this is her sad face.
The crazy bug strikes again!
I am almost too embarrassed to even post this, but let’s be honest I do not have a filter so here goes. Per the crazy bug post, I have been really conscious of how insane I really am. Well the crazy bug slapped me in the face yesterday morning. Let’s set the stage: all week I have been attending an all day training in Raleigh that starts promptly at 8:30. The rockstar that runs it is known to call people out. I woke up late, jumped out of the shower and left my wet hair, threw on a sundress, tossed my dog outside and hit the door….to discover I did not have my car keys. Anywhere. I tend to feel often like Polly in the movie Along Came Polly, and I have come very close to buying a key finder. I have never actually found my keys in the freezer, which is the only reason I have not made this investment. In the madness of frantically tearing my house apart my only thought was…”shit, if I was married, then someone would have maybe reminded me to hang that key hanger by the front door… or at least have my spare key….or at least be yelling at me for being such a disaster…and then he would solve my crisis by driving me to where I need to go.” Immediately following the stream of insanity was…”WHAT is wrong with you? you do not even have someone you want to see every day that lives in the same state, you are ten years away from marriage…at least. STOP being insane.”
Conclusion: my internal monologues would put me in a straight jacket if someone heard them. Obviously, I had to borrow Partially’s car for the day…and later found my key in the silverware drawer.
We spend our whole lives worrying about the future. Planning for the future. Trying to predict the futrure. As if figuring it out will somehow cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears… and our wildest hopes. But one thing is certain, when it finally reveals itself, the future is never the way we imagined it
Grey’s Anatomy (via justbesplendid)
Love this. Considering my life was entirely different a year ago today. I was living in the same house with the same friends but my life was very different. And I have no idea where it will take me. And no plans or schedules.
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Although I loved the long wedding weekend, I severely missed this little one. Especially when it is time to play with her favorite bunny.
I love Wedding Season Edition 2
So, as previously mentioned, I went to an amazing wedding this past Saturday. Considering I was one of the three that ran champagne up the dock minutes after the proposal, I was super excited. This wedding was a day affair, so I started off my Saturday at 10 a.m. with bloodys and dancing. Fab. U. Lous. The bride and groom may have been thrown in the pool and my bestie may have vommed in the car on the way to the ceremony from way too much drinking after the trip from hell. Obviously, none of this stopped us from continuing the celebration for the next 12 hours.
Here is a snippet:
1.) THE SNAKE
I fought off a king snake barefoot in a cocktail dress so that a band could set up on the back porch. He was striking at me. I was born and raised in the country, and yet, I have never had to fight a striking snake barefoot.
I hung out with a New Yorker. Like one that actually has been born and raised there and actually never seen a snake. And when asked if he would help me he responded with, “Listen lady, I have never seen a live snake. But when you come visit, I can find anything on the subway.” Well, thank you.
His dad then told me the same response when I asked him for help.
2.) THE NEW YORKER
…turned out to be fabulous despite having never seen a live snake and despite having nothing in common. I am from Mississippi orginally.
3.) THE SANDBAR was dangerous. Enough said.
Unlike Literally, I do not typically have any craziness whatsoever when I fly. I am seriously lucky, I have never had any horrific experiences. I am normally very calm, cool, and collected when flying and typically make fun of people who overly freak out. The worst thing that has ever happened to me is being stuck in Newark for five hours after a heinous fight with my boyfriend at the time, and my cell phone was broken leaving me calling in updates to family and inthedoghouse boyfriend from a pay phone I could not afford. Until Friday. I was flying into Atlanta for my best friend’s older sister’s wedding in Athens. Reading Emily Giffin’s new book very quietly, very happy, very excited. Until the pilot comes over the intercom to annouce they are not quiiiite sure the landing gear is working on one side of the plane. In order to fix this, the first officer came back and ripped out the floor panels to peep through a hole in the floor to see if he can see the landing gear. Conclusion, “well folks, we are 95 percent positive we are in the clear. Hold on tight.” Then he attempts to make a joke. I might have cried and torn pages out of my hard cover, expensive book. I will never be smug about being a cool flyer again. I promise!